Practical Magic

"Let me ask you this," the woman behind the desk is saying into the phone. "Why do you ask me for advice if you're not going to listen to it? Why don't you just go ahead, do whatever you want, and leave me out of it?" She gives Sally a look. This is a private conversation, even if half of it is going on in a public place. "You sure you don't want to hang out in his room?"

"Maybe I'll just wait in my car," Sally says.

"Super," the woman says, shelving her phone conversation until she has her privacy back.

"Let me guess." Sally nods to the phone. "Your sister?"

A baby sister out in Port Jefferson, who has needed constant counsel for the past forty-two years. Otherwise, she'd have every single credit card charged to the max and she'd still be married to her first husband, who was a million times worse than the one she's got now.

"She's so self-centered, she drives me nuts. That's what comes from being the youngest and having everyone fuss over you," the woman behind the desk announces. She's slipped her hand over the mouthpiece of the telephone. "They want you to take care of them and solve all their problems and they never give you the least bit of credit for anything."

"You're right," Sally agrees. "Being the baby does it. They never seem to get over it."

"Don't I know," the other woman says.

And what of being the oldest, Sally wonders as she goes outside, stopping at the vending machine beside the office to get herself a diet Coke. She steps over the rainbow-edged pools of oil on her way back to her car. What if you're forever trapped into telling someone else what to do, into being responsible and saying "I told you so" a dozen times a day? Whether she wants to admit it or not, this is what Sally has been doing, and she's been doing it for as long as she can remember.

Right before Gillian had her hair chopped off, and set every girl in town marching into beauty shops, begging for the very same style, her hair had been as long as Sally's, perhaps a bit longer. It was the color of wheat, blinding to look at under the sun and as fine as silk, at least on those rare occasions when Gillian chose to brush it. Now Sally wonders if she was jealous, and if that was why she teased Gillian about what a mess she always looked, with her hair all bunched up and knotted.

And yet on the day Gillian came home with her hair cut short, Sally was shocked. She hadn't even consulted with Sally before she'd gone through with it. "How could you have done this to yourself?" Sally demanded.

"I have my reasons," Gillian said. She was sitting in front of her mirror, applying blush into the hollows of her cheeks. "And they are all spelled C-A-S-H."

Gillian swore that a woman had been following her for several days, and had finally approached her that afternoon. She had offered Gillian two thousand dollars, there, on the spot, if Gillian would accompany her to a salon and have her hair clipped off to the ears so this woman with short, mousy hair could have a false braid to wear to parties.

"Sure," Sally said. "Like anyone in their right mind would ever do that."

"Really?" Gillian said. "You don't think anyone would?"

She reached into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a roll of money. The two thousand, in cash. Gillian had a huge smile on her face, and maybe Sally just wanted to wipe it right off.

"Well, you look awful," she said. "You look like a boy."

She said it even though she could see that Gillian had an incredibly pretty neck, so slim and sweet the mere sight of it would make grown men cry.

"Oh, who cares?" Gillian said. "It'll grow back."

But her hair never grew long again—it wouldn't reach past her shoulders. Gillian washed it with rosemary, with violets and rose petals and even ginseng tea—none of it did any good.

"That's what you get," Sally announced. "That's where greed will take you."

But where has being such a good girl and a prig taken Sally? It's brought her to this parking lot on a damp and dreadful night. It's put her in her place, once and for all. Who is she to be so righteous and certain her way is best? If she'd simply called the police when Gillian first arrived, if she hadn't had to take charge and manage it all, if she hadn't believed that everything—both the cause and the effect—was her responsibility, she and Gillian might not be in the fix they're in right now. It's the smoke emanating from the walls of their parents' bungalow. It's the swans in the park. It's the stop sign no one notices, until it's too late.

Sally has spent her whole life being vigilant, and that takes logic and good common sense. If her parents had had her with them she would have smelled the acrid scent of fire, she knows that she would. She would have seen the blue spark that fell onto the rug, the first of many, where it glittered like a star, and then a river of stars, shiny and blue on the shag carpeting just before it all burst into flame. On that day when the teenagers had had too much to drink before they got into one of their daddies' cars, she would have pulled Michael back to the curb. Didn't she save her baby from the swans when they tried to attack her? Hasn't she taken care of everything since—her children and the house, her lawn and her electricity bill, her laundry, which, when it hangs on the line, is even whiter than snow?

From the very start, Sally has been lying to herself, telling herself she can handle anything, and she doesn't want to lie anymore. One more lie and she'll be truly lost. One more and she'll never find her way back through the woods.

Sally gulps her diet Coke; she's dying of thirst. Her throat actually hurts from those lies she told Gary Hallet. She wants to come clean, she wants to tell all, she wants someone to listen to what she has to say and really hear her, the way no one ever has before. When she sees Gary crossing the Turnpike, carrying a tub of fried chicken, she knows she could start her car and get away before he recognizes her. But she stays where she is. As she watches Gary walk in her direction, a line of heat crisscrosses itself beneath her skin. It's invisible, but it's there. That's the way desire is, it ambushes you in a parking lot, it wins every time. The closer Gary gets, the worse it is, until Sally has to slip one hand under her shirt and press down, just to ensure that her heart won't escape from her body.

The world seems gray, and the roads are slick, but Gary doesn't mind the dim and somber night. There have been nothing but blue skies in Tucson for months, and Gary isn't bothered by a little rain. Maybe rain will cure the way he feels inside, and wash away his worries. Maybe he can get on the plane tomorrow at nine twenty-five, smile at the flight attendant, then catch a couple of hours' sleep before he has to report into the office.

In his line of work, Gary is trained to notice things, but he can't quite believe what he's seeing now. Part of the reason for this is that he's been imagining Sally everywhere he goes. He thought he spied her at a crosswalk on the Turnpike as he was driving here, and again in the fried-chicken place, and now here she is in the parking lot. She's probably another illusion, what he wants to see rather than what's right in front of him. Gary walks closer to the Honda and narrows his eyes. That's Sally's car, it is, and that's her, there behind the wheel, honking the horn at him.

Gary opens the car door, gets into the passenger seat, and slams the door shut. His hair and his clothes are damp, and the bucket of chicken he has with him is steamy hot and smells like oil.

"I thought it was you," he says.

He needs to fold his legs up to fit in this car; he balances the bucket of chicken on his lap.

"It was Jimmy's ring," Sally says.

She didn't plan to spill it immediately, but maybe it's just as well. She's staring at Gary for his reaction, but he's simply looking back at her. God, she wishes she smoked or drank or something. The tension is so bad that it feels as though it were at least a hundred and thirty degrees inside the car. Sally is surprised she doesn't just burst into flame.

"Well?" she says finally. "We were lying to you. That ring in my kitchen belonged to James Hawkins."

"I know." Gary sounds even more worried now than before. She's the one, and he knows it. Under certain circumstances, he might be willing to give up everything for Sally Owens. He might be willing to leap headlong into this ravine he feels coming up, without considering how fast he'd be falling or how brutal the moment of impact might be. Gary combs his wet hair back with his fingers and, for a moment, the whole car smells like rain. "Have you had dinner?" He lifts the bucket of chicken. He's also got onion rings and fries.

"I couldn't eat," Sally tells him.

Gary opens the door and sets the bucket outside in the rain. He has definitely lost his appetite for chicken.

"I might pass out," Sally warns him. "I feel like I'm going to have a stroke."

"Is that because you understand I have to ask if you or your sister know where Hawkins is?"

That is not the reason. Sally is hot right down to her fingertips. She takes her hands off the steering wheel so steam doesn't rise from beneath her cuticles, and places both hands in her lap. "I'll tell you where he is." Gary Hallet is looking at her as if the Hide-A-Way Motel and all the rest of the Turnpike didn't even exist. "Dead," Sally says.

Gary thinks this over while the rain taps against the roof of the car. They can't see out the windshield, and the windows are fogged up.

"It was an accident," Sally says now. "Not that he didn't deserve it. Not that he wasn't the biggest pig alive."

"He went to my high school." Gary speaks slowly, with an ache in his voice. "He was always bad news. People say that he shot twelve ponies at a ranch that refused to hire him for a summer job. Shot them in the head, one by one."

"There you go," Sally says. "There you have it."

"You want me to forget about him? Is that what you're asking me to do?"

"He won't hurt anyone anymore," Sally says. "That's the important thing."

The woman who works in the motel office has run outside, wearing a black rain poncho and carrying a broom she'll use to try to unclog the gutters before tomorrow's predicted storm. Sally herself isn't thinking about her gutters. She's not wondering if her girls thought to close the windows, and at this moment she doesn't care if her roof will make it through gale-force winds.

"The only way he'll hurt someone is if you keep looking for him," Sally adds. "Then my sister will get hurt, and I will, too, and it will all be for nothing."

She's got the sort of logic Gary can't argue with. The sky is getting darker, and when Gary looks at Sally he sees only her eyes. What's right and what's wrong have somehow gotten confused. "I don't know what to do," he admits. "In all of this, I seem to have a problem. I'm not impartial. I can pretend to be, but I'm not."

He's staring at her the way he did when she first answered the door. Sally can feel his intentions and his torment both; she's well aware of what he wants.

Gary Hallet is getting leg cramps sitting in the Honda, but he's not going anywhere yet. His grandfather used to tell him that most folks had it all wrong: The truth of the matter was, you could lead a horse to water, and if the water was cool enough, if it was truly clear and sweet, you wouldn't have to force him to drink. Tonight Gary feels a whole lot more like the horse than the rider. He has stumbled into love, and now he's stuck there. He's fairly used to not getting what he wants, and he's dealt with it, yet he can't help but wonder if that's only because he didn't want anything too badly. Well, he does now. He looks out at the parking lot. By afternoon he'll be back where he belongs; his dogs will go crazy when they see him, his mail will be waiting outside his front door, the milk in his refrigerator will still be fresh enough to use in his coffee. The hitch is, he doesn't want to go. He'd rather be here, crammed into this tiny Honda, his stomach growling with hunger, his desire so bad he doesn't know if he could stand up straight. His eyes are burning hot, and he knows he can never stop himself when he's going to cry. He'd better not even try.

"Oh, don't," Sally says. She moves closer to him, pulled by gravity, pulled by forces she couldn't begin to control.

"I just do this," Gary says in that sad, deep voice. He shakes his head, disgusted with himself. This time he'd prefer to do almost anything but cry. "Pay no attention."

But she does. She can't help herself. She shifts toward him, meaning to wipe at his tears, but instead she loops her arms around his neck, and once she does that, he holds her closer.

"Sally," he says.

It's music, it's a sound that is absurdly beautiful in his mouth, but she won't pay attention. She knows from the time she spent on the back stairs of the aunts' house that most things men say are lies. Don't listen, she tells herself. None of it's true and none of it matters, because he's whispering that he's been looking for her forever. She's halfway onto his lap, facing him, and when he touches her, his hands are so hot on her skin she can't believe it. She can't listen to anything he tells her and she certainly can't think, because if she did she might just think she'd better stop.

This is what it must be like to be drunk, Sally finds herself thinking, as Gary presses against her. His hands are on her skin, and she doesn't stop him. They're under her T-shirt, they're into her shorts, and still she doesn't stop him. She wants the heat he's making her feel; she, who can't function without directions and a map, wants to get lost right now. She can feel herself giving in to his kisses; she's ready to do just about anything. This is what it must be like to be crazy, she guesses. Everything she's doing is so unlike her usual self that when Sally catches sight of her image in the cloudy side-view mirror, she's stunned. It's a woman who could fall in love if she let herself, a woman who doesn't stop Gary when he lifts her dark hair away, then presses his mouth to the hollow of her throat.

What good would it do her to get involved with someone like him? She'd have to feel so much, and she's not that kind. She couldn't abide those poor, incoherent women who came to the aunts' back door, and she could not stand to be one of them now, wild with grief, overcome with what some people call love.

She pulls away from Gary, out of breath, her mouth hot, the rest of her burning. She has managed to exist this long without; she can keep on doing it. She can make herself go cold, from the inside out. The drizzle is letting up, but the sky has become as dark as a pot of ink. In the east, thunder sounds as the storm moves in from the sea.

"Maybe I'm letting you do this so you'll stop the investigation," Sally says. "Did you ever think of that? Maybe I'm so desperate I'd fuck anyone, including you."

Her mouth tastes bitter and cruel, but she doesn't care. She wants to see that wounded look on his face. She wants to stop this before that option is no longer hers. Before what she feels takes hold and she's trapped, like those women at the aunts' back door.

"Sally," Gary says. "You're not like that."

"Oh, really?" Sally says. "You don't know me. You just think you do."

"That's right. I think I do," he says, which is about as much of an argument as Sally's going to get.

"Get out," she tells Gary. "Get out of the car."

At this moment, Gary wishes he could grab her and force her, at least until she gave in. He'd like to make love to her right here, he'd like to do it all night and not give a damn about anything else, and not listen if she told him no. But he's not that kind of man, and he never will be. He's seen too many lives go wrong when a man allows himself to be led around by his dick. It's like giving in to drugs or alcohol or the fast cash you've just got to have, no questions asked. Gary has always understood why people give in and do as they please with no thought of anyone else. Their minds shut off, and he's not going to do that, even if it means he won't get what he really wants.

"Sally," he says, and his voice causes her more anguish than she would ever have imagined possible. It's the kindness that undoes her, it's the mercy in spite of everything that's happened and is happening still.

"I want you to get out," Sally says. "This is a mistake. It's all wrong."

"It isn't." But Gary opens the door and gets out. He leans back down, and Sally makes herself look straight ahead, at the windshield. She doesn't dare look at him.

"Close it," Sally says. Her voice sounds fragile, a shattered, undependable thing. "I mean it."

He closes the car door, but he stands there watching. Even if she doesn't look, Sally knows he hasn't walked away. This is the way it has to be. She'll be removed forever, distant as stars, unhurt and untouched, forever and ever. Sally steps on the gas, knowing that if she turned to see, she'd find he was still standing in the parking lot. But she doesn't look back, because if she did she'd also discover how much she wants him, for all the good it will ever do her.

Gary does watch her drive away, and he's watching still when the first bit of lightning cracks across the sky. He's there when the crab apple on the far side of the parking lot turns white with heat; he's close enough to feel the charge, and he'll feel it all the way home, as he's high above them in the sky, headed west. With a close call like that, it makes perfect sense that he'll be shaking as he turns the key in his own front door. As Gary understands it, the greatest portion of grief is the one you dish out for yourself, and he and Sally have both served themselves from the same table tonight, the only difference being that he knows what he's missing, and she has no idea of what's causing her to cry as she drives down the Turnpike.

When Sally gets home, her dark hair loose, her mouth bruised by kisses, Gillian is waiting up for her. She's sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea and listening to the thunder.

"Did you fuck him?" Gillian says.

The question is both completely startling and totally commonplace, since it's Gillian who's asking. Sally actually laughs. "No."

"Too bad," Gillian says. "I thought you would. I thought you were hooked. You had that look in your eye."

"You were wrong," Sally says.

"Did he at least make you a deal? Did he tell you we're not suspects? Will he let it slide?"

"He has to think it over." Sally sits down at the table. She feels the way she would if someone had smacked her. The weight of never seeing Gary again descends like a cloak made of ashes. She thinks about his kisses and the way he touched her, and she gets turned inside out all over again. "He has a conscience."

"Just our luck. And it only gets worse."

Tonight the wind will continue to rise, until there's not a single trashcan left standing on the street. The clouds will be as tall as black mountains. In the backyard, beneath the hedge of thorns, the earth will turn to mud, and then to water, a pool of deception and regret.

"Jimmy's not staying buried. First the ring, then a boot. I'm afraid to guess what's going to come up next. I start to think about it, and I just kind of black out. I listened to the news, and the storm that's coming is going to be bad."

Sally moves her chair closer to Gillian's. Their knees touch. Their pulse rate is exactly the same, the way it always was during a thunderstorm. "What do we do?" Sally whispers.

It's the first time she's ever asked for Gillian's opinion or advice, and Gillian follows her example. It's actually true, what they say about asking for help. Take a deep breath and it hurts a whole lot less to admit it out loud.

"Call the aunts," Gillian tells Sally. "Do it now."

ON THE EIGHTH DAY of the eighth month the aunts arrive on a Greyhound bus. The minute the driver hops down, he makes certain to get their black suitcases from the luggage compartment first thing, even though the larger of their suitcases is so heavy he has to use all his strength just to budge it and he nearly tears a ligament when he lifts it out.

"Hold your horses," he advises the other passengers, who are all complaining that they're the ones who must have their suitcases now in order to catch a connecting bus or run to meet a husband or a friend. The driver just ignores them and goes about his business. "I wouldn't want you ladies to wait," he tells the aunts.

The aunts are so old it's impossible to tell their age. Their hair is white and their spines are crooked. They wear long black skirts and laced leather boots. Though they haven't left Massachusetts in more than forty years, they're certainly not intimidated by travel. Or by anything else, for that matter. They know what they want and they're not afraid to be outspoken, which is why they pay no attention to the other passengers' complaints, and continue to direct the driver on how to place the larger suitcase on the curb carefully.

"What have you got in here?" the driver jokes. "A ton of bricks?"

The aunts don't bother to answer, they have very little tolerance for dim-witted humor, and they're not interested in making polite conversation. They stand on the corner near the bus station and whistle for a taxi; as soon as one pulls over, they tell the driver exactly where to go—along the Turnpike for seven miles, past the mall and the shopping centers, past the Chinese restaurant and the deli and the ice cream shop where Antonia has worked this summer. The aunts smell like lavender and sulfur, a disquieting mixture, and maybe that's the reason the taxi driver holds the door open for them when they arrive at Sally's house, even though they didn't bother to tip him. The aunts don't believe in tips, and they never have. They believe in earning your worth and doing the job right. And, when you come right down to it, that's what they're here for.

Sally offered to pick them up at the bus station, but the aunts would have none of that. They can get around just fine on their own. They prefer to come to a place slowly, and that's what they're doing now. The lawns are wet, and the air is motionless and thick, the way it always is before a storm. A haze hangs over the houses and the chimney tops. The aunts stand in Sally's driveway, between the Honda and Jimmy's Oldsmobile, their black suitcases set down beside them. They close their eyes, to get a sense of this place. In the poplar trees, the sparrows watch with interest. The spiders stop spinning their webs. The rain will begin after midnight, on this the aunts agree. It will fall in sheets, like rivers of glass. It will fall until the whole world seems silver and turned upside down. You can feel such things when you have rheumatism, or when you've lived as long as the aunts have.

Inside the house, Gillian feels twitchy, the way people do before lightning is about to strike. She's wearing old blue jeans and a black cotton shirt, and her hair's uncombed. She's like a kid who refuses to dress up for company. But the company's arrived anyway; Gillian can feel their presence. The air is as dense as chocolate cake, the good kind, made without flour. The ceiling light in the living room has begun to sway; its metal chain makes a clackety sound, as if somewhere a top had been spun too fast. Gillian yanks the curtains back and takes a look.

"Oh, my god," she says. "The aunts are in the driveway."

Outside, the air is turning even thicker, like soup, and it has a yellow, sulfury odor, which some people find rather pleasant and others experience as so revolting they slam their windows shut, then turn their air conditioners on high. By evening, the wind will be strong enough to carry off small dogs and toss children from their swing sets, but for now it's just a slight breeze. Linda Bennett has pulled into her driveway next door; when she gets out of her car, she has a bag of groceries balanced on her hip and she waves to the aunts with her free hand. Sally mentioned that some elderly relatives might arrive for a visit.

"They're a bit odd," Sally warned her next-door neighbor, but to Linda they look like sweet little old ladies.

Linda's daughter, who used to be Jessie and now calls herself Isabella, slides out of the passenger seat and wrinkles her nose—through which she has taken to wearing three silver rings—as if she smells something rotten. She looks over and sees the aunts studying Sally's house.

"Who are those old bats?" the so-called Isabella asks her mother.

Her words are carried across the lawn, each nasty syllable falling into Sally's driveway with a clatter. The aunts turn and look at Isabella with their clear gray eyes, and when they do she feels something absolutely weird in her fingers and her toes, a sensation so threatening and strange that she runs into the house, gets into bed, and pulls the covers over her head. It will be weeks before this girl mouths off to her mother, or anyone else, and even then she'll think twice, she'll reconsider, then rephrase, with a "Please" or a "Thank you" thrown in.

"Let me know if you need anything during your visit," Linda calls to Sally's aunts, and all at once she feels better than she has in years.

Sally has come to stand beside her sister, and she taps on the window to get the aunts' attention. The aunts look up and blink; and when they spy Sally and Gillian on the other side of the glass, they wave, just as they did when the girls first arrived at the airport in Boston. For Sally to see the aunts in her own driveway, however, is like seeing two worlds collide. It would be no less unusual for a meteorite to have landed beside the Oldsmobile, or for shooting stars to drift across the lawn, than it is to have the aunts here at Hast.

"Come on," Sally says, tugging on Gillian's sleeve, but Gillian just shakes her head no.

Gillian hasn't seen the aunts for eighteen years, and although they haven't aged as much as she, she never quite took notice of how old they were. She always thought of them together, a unit, and now she sees that Aunt Frances is nearly six inches taller than her sister, and that Aunt Bridget, whom they always called Aunt Jet, is actually cheerful and plump, like a little hen dressed up in black skirts and boots.

"I need time to process this," Gillian says.

"Two minutes had better be enough," Sally informs her, as she goes outside to welcome their guests.

"The aunts!" Kylie shouts when she sees they've arrived. She calls upstairs to Antonia, who rushes to join her, taking two steps at a time. The sisters make a dash for the open door, then realize that Gillian is still at the window.

"Come with us," Kylie says to her.

"Go on," Gillian advises the girls. "I'll be right here."

Kylie and Antonia hurry to the driveway and throw themselves at the aunts. They hoot and holler and dance the aunts around until they are all flushed and out of breath. When Sally phoned and explained about the problem in the yard, the aunts listened carefully, then assured her they'd be on the bus to New York as soon as they set out food for the last remaining cat, old Magpie. The aunts always kept their promises, and they still do. They believe that every problem has a solution, although it may not be the outcome that was originally hoped for or expected.

For instance, the aunts had never expected their own lives to be so completely altered by a single phone call in the middle of the night those many years ago. It was October and cold, and the big house was drafty; the sky outside was so gloomy it pushed down on anyone who dared to walk beneath it. The aunts had their schedule, to which they kept no matter what. They took their walk in the morning, then read and wrote in their journals, then had lunch—the same lunch every day—mashed parsnips and potatoes, noodle pudding, and apple tart for dessert. They napped in the afternoon and did their business at twilight, should anyone come to the back door. They always had their supper in the kitchen—beans and toast, soup and crackers—and they kept the lights turned low, to save on electricity. Every night they faced the dark, since they could never sleep.

Their hearts had been broken on the night those two brothers ran across the town green; they'd been broken so hard and so suddenly that the aunts never again allowed themselves to be taken by surprise, not by lightning, and certainly not by love. They believed in their schedules and very little else. Occasionally they would attend a town meeting, where their stern presence could easily sway a vote, or they'd visit the library, where the sight of their black skirts and boots induced silence in even the rowdiest book borrowers.

The aunts assumed they knew their life and all that it would bring. They were well acquainted with their own fates, or so they believed. They were quite convinced nothing could come between their present and their own quiet deaths, in bed, of course, from pneumonia and complications of the flu at the ages of ninety-two and ninety-four. But they must have missed something, or perhaps it's simply that one can never predict one's own fortune. The aunts never imagined that a small and serious voice would phone in the middle of the night, demanding to be taken in, disrupting everything. That was the end of parsnips and potatoes at lunch. Instead, the aunts got used to peanut butter and jelly, graham crackers and alphabet soup, Mallomar cookies and handfuls of M&M's. How odd that they would be grateful to have had to deal with sore throats and nightmares. Without those two girls, they would never have had to run down the hall in their bare feet in the middle of the night to see which one had a stomach virus and which one was sleeping tight.